Portly Irishman's Pub

Irish Humor

Do you enjoy jokes with an Irish flavor to them? I certainly do.

Us Irish are an odd perverse lot, we are banking heavily on the fact that God has a sense of humor!

The Best of Friends

Friday, 30 July 2010 14:25 |

Written by Portly Irishman |

Irish Humor

There once were two Irishmen, named Shawn and Pat, who were the best of friends. During one particular night of revelry, the two agreed that when one passed on, the other would take and spill the contents of a bottle of fine, Irish whiskey over the grave of the fondly missed and recently dead friend.

And as fate would have it, Shawn would be the first to pass. Pat, hearing of his friend's illness, came to visit his dear friend one last time. "Shawn," said Pat, "can you hear me?"

Golfing Priest

Monday, 24 May 2010 06:09 |

Written by Portly Irishman |

Irish Humor

Golfing on Sunday

The Reverend Francis Norton woke up Sunday morning and, realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf. So... he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and convinced him to say Mass for him that day.

As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about forty miles away. This way he knew he wouldn't accidentally meet anyone he knew from his parish. Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church!

Staggering Home from the Pub

Friday, 26 March 2010 00:11 |

Written by Portly Irishman |

Irish Humor

Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the night celebrating St Patrick's Day.

Mick, the bartender says, "You'll not be drinking anymore tonight, Paddy"

Paddy replies "OK Mick, I'll be on my way then."

Paddy spins around on his stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face.

Last Updated (Friday, 26 March 2010 00:17)

A baby is born

Wednesday, 10 March 2010 06:51 |

Written by Portly Irishman |

Irish Humor

Babies

Mike and his pregnant wife live on a farm in the distant rural regions of Ireland with no running water, no electricity, none of the creature comforts. One night, Mikes' wife goes into labor. The local doctor is there in attendance.

"What d'ya want me to do, Doctor?"

"Hold the lantern, Mikey. Here it comes!" The doctor delivers the child and holds it up for the proud father to see. "Mike, you're the proud father of a fine strapping boy."

"Saints be praised, I..."

Last Updated (Sunday, 14 March 2010 08:28)

The Wheels of Justice

Tuesday, 15 December 2009 05:34 |

Written by Portly Irishman |

Irish Humor

Plea

After a trial had been going on for three days, Finley, the man accused of committing the crimes, stood up and approached the judge's bench. "Your Honor, I would like to change my plea from 'innocent' to 'guilty' of the charges."

Last Updated (Tuesday, 15 December 2009 05:39)

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