Portly Irishman's Pub | The things that kids come out with

The things that kids come out with

Children can come out with things sometimes that will leave you speechless, bursting into uncontrollable laughter and rolling on the floor. Here you can read about some of those things.

Check back often for a good dose of innocent humor that can be truly priceless.

Praying to Harold

Friday, 26 March 2010 00:15 |

Written by Portly Irishman |

What Kids Say

A daddy was listening to his child say his prayer "Dear Harold."

At this, dad interrupted and said, "Wait a minute, why did you call God 'Harold'?"

Last Updated (Friday, 26 March 2010 00:18)

Lending a hand

Wednesday, 10 March 2010 06:57 |

Written by Portly Irishman |

What Kids Say

Helping Out

A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices a small boy tying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, the doorbell is just out of his reach.

After watching the boy's efforts for some time, the priest moves closer to the boy's position. He steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child's shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a ring.

Last Updated (Sunday, 14 March 2010 08:28)

Important Q and A's

Thursday, 07 January 2010 06:49 |

Written by Portly Irishman |

What Kids Say

Kids Answers to those important questions

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming. --Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they Grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with. --Kirsten, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then. --Camille, age 10

Analogies and Metaphors

Thursday, 07 January 2010 06:46 |

Written by Portly Irishman |

What Kids Say

These came from the annual "Dark and Stormy Night" competition. Actual analogies and metaphors found in high school essays:

1. Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

2. His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.

3. He spoke with the wisdom that can only come from experience, like a guy who went blind because he looked at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it and now goes around the country speaking at high schools about the dangers of looking at a solar eclipse without one of those boxes with a pinhole in it.

4. She grew on him like she was a colony of E. coli and he was room-temperature Canadian beef.