Portly Irishman's Pub

Next time you think your hotel bill is too high, you might want to consider this: 

My wife and I are traveling by car from Victoria to Prince George. After almost eleven hours on the road, we were too tired to continue, and decide to take a room. But, we only planned to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road. When we checked out four hours later, the desk clerk hands us a bill for $350.00.

I explode and demand to know why the charge is so high. I tell the clerk although it's a nice hotel; the rooms certainly aren't worth $350.00 Then the clerk tells me that $350.00 is the 'standard rate'. I insisted on speaking to the Manager.

The other night I was invited out for a night with the guys. I told my wife that I would be home by midnight... "I promise!"

Well, the hours passed quickly and the beer was going down way too easy. At 3 am, drunk as a skunk, I headed for home. Just as I got in the door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed three times.

Quickly, I realized she'd probably wake up, so I cuckooed another 9 times. I was really proud of myself for having such a rapid, witty solution, even when smashed, to escape a possible conflict.